I think the fact that I put off writing this for almost three weeks illustrates the point I’m trying to make better than any opening sentence ever could have.
I am by far the biggest procrastinator I have ever met. When I was nine, I officially declared my life motto “I avoid my problems until they become too big to ignore anymore”. I have no idea why I thought that was a good motto. But I stuck to it harder than I’ve probably stuck to anything in my entire life (for any of you wondering, no, sticking to procrastination is not better than never sticking to anything. If anything, it’s worse).
I’m not great at being a functional human being, but if I had to pinpoint the trait that has ruined my life the most times, it would be this. But I still keep doing it! I don’t know why. Maybe its laziness. However I do have a sneaking suspicious that my brain thinks that if I leave something as late as possible, some reason might arrive to get me out of doing it altogether. Which makes sense for some things, like homework (why do homework right now when it might snow in two days and school might be cancelled? That would mean I wasted my time), but makes less sense for things like college applications and choosing what I want to do with my life.
I don’t know what I think is going to come up to get me out of going to college or having to choose a job, but I continue to put them off like something will. This one might have something to do with the mind set of “if I don’t think about this problem, then it doesn’t exist”, which is stupid and dumb, but it makes it easier for me to watch Saturday morning cartoons without wanting to cry about having no life goals.
I have this friend that I always snapchat when I get bored doing coursework and want to put it off for a while, and she always messages me back saying “stop procrastinating and do your work!” which just makes me reply, and then hours later we’re still talking and I’m sending her random gifs of cats and Taylor Swift. And I don’t feel bad because at least I’m doing something rather than staring at my laptop screen doing nothing. By far the biggest impact procrastination has is that it is a giant mood killer. You feel like you don’t want to do that thing you need to do, so you put it off till later, but then you feel like you can’t do anything else like watch TV or play a video game because then you’re wasting the time you could have used doing that thing. So you end up staring at the wall for hours, doing literally nothing because you don’t like the other options. It’ll ruin your whole day, if you let it.
I’m no role model, trust me, but if you learn something from this blog post then let it be this; don’t leave things to the last minute. It’s the worst. With important things, especially life changing things like what you want to study at college, it can be super tempting to leave them as long as possible. No one knows that better than me. But avoiding your problems until you can’t anymore is not a healthy way to go through life. You have to put your foot down, stand strong, and stare your problems in the eyes like the functional human you aspire to be.
Don’t let your problems rule you. Rule your problems.